The cubicle farm, is there any environment less conducive to sanity? Coworkers are constantly trying to violate the sanctity of your cubicle, dying to know if you saw last night’s episode of that show you hate, or maybe hoping to shove more pictures of their hideous offspring in your face.

But there are ways of defending your precious allotment. Oh yes. Here are a few fun toys which are great for sending a very clear message to your coworkers: go away.

Tommy Rubberband Gun

Ah, the classic rubber band. Perhaps not as ubiquitous in the office as they once were, but still an effective way of dishing out some sting to deserving nuisances. This little beaut upgrades the age-old office missile weapon, firing a salvo of bands in rapid succession from a stylishly retro weapon. $19.95

link: Tommy Gun Rubberband Gun

USB Laser Guided Missile Launcher

A high tech weapon of mass distraction, this baby fires three harmless but really annoying foam missiles at those pesky coworkers. It plugs into your computer’s USB port, and is controlled from your desktop through the accompanying software. Plus it has a laser sight to make sure your payload hits the right target. $49.95

link: USB Laser Guided Missile Launcher

Airzooka

For those looking for a less painful but equally forceful way of telling their peers to fuck off, the Airzooka is a welcome addition to the office arsenal. Just pull back on the rubber diaphragm, aim, and release to send a strong gust of air at your foe, sending papers and other small desktop detritus flying. It even has a nice little sight for pinpoint accuracy. $11.95

link: Airzooka

Zero Fog Blaster

Another one for desk jockeys looking to send a less emphatic rebuke, this futuristic looking weapon lobs non-toxic fog rings at your target. With practice, you can create rings that travel up to fourteen feet before dissipating. $19.99

link: Zero Fog Blaster

Phone Babble

And then there’s the tool for those looking to preserve their privacy without assaulting another employee (pussies). The alarm clock sized Phone Babble keeps neighbors from eavesdropping on your calls by repeatedly duplicating and scrambling the sound of your voice, completely hiding your words in a hubbub of dull murmurs. It’s a little pricey, but reportedly very effective. $395.00

link: Phone Babble