Sure you’re not a kid anymore, or so the ball pit attendant at Chuck-E-Cheese’s keeps angrily telling you. But growing up doesn’t necessarily mean getting rid of your childish toys… it just means that they get cooler, and you have to pay for them yourself.
Case in point: as a child, did you ever have an RC car mounted with a night vision camera?
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Playing Wario Wares: Smooth Moves is a lot like being chased by a mob of giggling Harujuku girls. At first you’re confused and overwhelmed, and afterwards you’re left feeling exhausted and slightly embarrassed. But somehow, despite all of the emotional distress you’ve endured, you can’t help but feel like you’ve just been through something really fun and playful.
Also, it’s extremely Japanese.
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One of the best things about technology is how, with the possible exception of sex ed, almost all of the things my education has taught me can now be easily replicated by one of my numerous gadgets. My latest acquisition, the TipKalc, neatly removes the last reason I had for remembering basic math functions.
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Ever since game graphics have gotten good enough to accurately render a human figure, female video game characters have been getting a lot more… top heavy. Not that I’m complaining, but with so many pixelated busts exploding from the screen, it gets hard to decide which ones (or two’s, rather) are my favorite.
Fortunately, the ScrewAttack team has tackled this tough chore for us, creating a video top ten list of the nicest lady bits ever to grace your screen.
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I’m probably going to be put on the no-fly list for this, but the TSA screeners at the airport couldn’t find their asses with both hands and a printed set of step-by-step instructions from Google Maps.
Fortunately, there’s an alternative to those fucking security lines.
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If you only ever see one nature documentary in your life, let it be Planet Earth. This series is the reason why High-Definition was invented.
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The popular real time strategy series is back with it’s latest installment, and this one is sure to blow the pants off of long-time fans. With amazing graphics, an intense action, and some fun live action cut scenes, saving the world (or destroying it, if you so chose) has never been so fun.
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It used to be that wearing a tshirt that referenced a video game was considered lame. But that was back before video games had been around for long enough to become properly retro. Far from being considered nerdy, retro shirts say to people “I’m not a gamer nerd, oh no. I’m just sporting some nostalgia wear. That’s cool.”
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It’s Friday afternoon. You’re supposed to be finishing up the Fall earnings report, but you’ve had a long week and just can’t keep yourself from browsing Digg, playing another round of Tower Defense, or checking out just one more porn site. Then suddenly, the boss walks in. You scramble to minimize your windows, but not fast enough, as he rounds your desk and cries out, “Dear god, what is that horse doing to that woman?!”
You, my friend, seriously need a Stealth Switch.
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You’re out running errands when you think of something you really need to remember. With no pen and paper on hand, and certain that this important thought will quickly slip from your drug-addled brain, what do you do?
Jott it.
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Before today I’d never heard of Willa Ford, the self-proclaimed “bad girl” of pop (I didn’t know pop music had any “nice girls”). Whatever.
Why do I even mention her name? Partly because she’s landed herself an unfortunate interesting movie role. But mostly because she is damn fine.
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Searching for that perfect gift for the Star Wars nerd in your life is hard. He (sure it could theoretically be a she… but let’s not kid ourselves, it’s you, isn’t it?) probably already has several light sabers, a Yoda bumper sticker, and a Boba Fett mask. But a cool toy that’s probably been overlooked is something every aspiring Jedi should have: his own personal R2D2.
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There’s something hot about a girl who’s really into politics. Maybe it’s the subtle suggestion that all of the energy and passion she puts into shouting angry slogans at protests could translate nicely to other activities. Or maybe it’s just that all the righteous fist-shaking makes her girly bits jiggle pleasantly.
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“You’ve just been pre-approved for our super exclusive Zirconium Card! Here’s a fake cardboard credit card and a sheet of paper with all of your personal information on it!” I get kind of tired of having to shred several such items a week, not to mention all of the catalogs, free offers, and other random crap that piles up.
But there’s a new service that promises to free me from this postal torture.
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I do most of my television watching online. With hundreds of different video sites, it’s pretty much a certainty that whatever show you want to watch has been uploaded by someone. The trick is finding it. The thing about uploading and sharing copyrighted content is that it’s technically illegal. A lot of the time the episode you want might only be available on a given site for a few days before it’s spotted and removed. That’s where sites like TV Links come in.
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I fucking hate going grocery shopping. It’s not the small children shrieking their demands at emotionally numb fathers, or even that bitch cashier who picks her fingernails with my credit card. Its carrying those plastic bags back home. Those merciless torture devices which focus 25lbs worth of weight onto a centimeter wide strip of my palm.
But now my palms are crying in gratitude, ’cause I’ve just placed an order for a pair of One-Grips.
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Hayden Panettiere may still not technically be legal yet (August 21 of this year, for inquiring minds…) but that doesn’t mean you can’t admire her smokin’ hot bod, which she seems to have no qualms about showing off.
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In its long-running battle with Google Maps, MapQuest has unveiled a new tool that’s sure to appeal to those feeling pain at the pump: an easy way to find the cheapest gas prices near you.
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I4U has a nice series of galleries involving the intersection of two of god’s greatest gifts to mankind: perky babes and high tech gadgetry. It’s enough to make a horned-up geek’s head explode.
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Video gamers have long been stereotyped as, well… fat slobs. So far, gaming has been a pretty sedentary experience, requiring nothing more than some manual dexterity and the strength to lick the Cheeto’s dust from your fingers. But with the advent of the Wii, and all of it’s motion sensing wonder, gamers have the option of getting up and actually, you know, moving around a bit.
Your move, fatties.
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What if you had to spend a full month living the life of someone you truly hate? In my case, I’d probably commit suicide after spending a few days as David Hasselhoff. But in slightly less irrational cases, Morgan Spurlock (creator of the film Super Size Me) has found that making someone walk a mile in another’s shoes can be a life-changing experience.
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